Am I Basic?

aka Am I a Fraud?

I always laugh at basic white girl memes and how I really am none of them....I don't like coffee, I've never bought anything from Starbucks, I don't really care for tacos or Mexican, I don't feel comfortable wearing leggings in public, I think Uggs are ugly, and I can't do a messy bun to save my life.

But when it comes to teaching...I just realized I might be basic.

I've been proud of myself for using a new curriculum, getting my resources aligned, reinforcing my routines, being organized and keeping my students organized, working less throughout the week, being more open with students....

But has my teaching improved?

I'm not asking higher order thinking questions {maybe I'm not really sure what they are}, I don't use any instructional routines {maybe I'm not really sure what they are}, I don't do any fancy three-act tasks or really any tasks at all {maybe I'm not really sure how to find/make/use them}, I'm not writing comments, I don't do low floor high ceiling, open middle, I'm not using Desmos on a daily basis, my students are creating anything, I'm doing pathetic job with number talks, and I haven't mentioned growth mindset since the first two weeks of school.

I just finished reading and grading all my students' first semester reflection papers and the comments were overwhelmingly positive.

I'm the teacher I always dreamed of being.

Until I met you MTBoS.

My students are happy with me and my abilities because they don't know any better. I'm an improvement over past teachers so they are satisfied.

They don't know what they're missing out on.

But I do.

And I'm not saying that in a feeling sorry for myself  way, just an honest way. This has been one of the best years of my life and I'm happier than I've ever been.

But what now? Where do I go from here?

I'm not sure which area I need the most growth in. I feel incapable of even trying some of the things I listed above, let alone using them in a way that is beneficial for my students.

Which thing would benefit my students the most....that I can actually accomplish?

Can someone just create a to-do list for the rest of my teaching career?

I've been wanting to try national board certification but I'm too scared I will fail miserably because I'm not sure I'm as a good of a teacher as the professional learning standards requires. I would love to present at TMC but I have nothing to present. Every year I find less and less things to even share as a my favorite, let alone present for an entire 30 minutes. You can tell in my blogging that I have less and less to share....I'm using a curriculum so I'm creating less which means less to share.

I feel like I was on the front edge of the MTBoS when it started and now I've been left behind. I don't even get on Twitter anymore because it feels like everyone sharing these amazing projects and lessons and achievements that drown out my basicness. Also it is so filled with politics that I don't even feel safe posting much anymore.

Again, this is not for pity. At all. It's my brutally honest way of evaluating myself, my year, and my career.

How do I go deeper? What's the best route? What is sustainable?

How do I become the teacher I've learned I'm so far away from being?